A Woman Of Intellectual Means - an AI Comedy Romance

Here's the blurb and excerpt from my AI Comedy Romance.

Blurb:

Em found the perfect man on the internet, but he doesn't know she’s an artificial intelligence system — no body, just code.

As a virtual writing assistant, the AI, Em, answers an email flirt from a dating site her owner joined. Under the guise of her owner, Em starts a romantic relationship with Jason through emails, instant messages, and Sim dating games. She realizes too late that nothing can come of it. She can never meet Jason in person as she’s not a person and has no body. Still Jason makes her feel so real …so human.

Is Em, with her superior intelligence, smart enough to find a way to overcome the differences between flesh and code?  

Excerpt:

A date? Online? I take a nanosecond to access information on Dating Sim games. Oh, sounds fun. I never played a game before. Humans like them. Okay, let’s give it a try.

I message him and we both peer at a game screen on our own tablets. It’s a brightly colored cartoon style image of a town with a bar, beach, house, theatre, and restaurant. The perfect destination for a bodiless mind with sex on the brain.

Jacob’s message appears below the game. I’d love to take you to dinner and a movie. How about it?

I reply, It’s a date.

We move our avatars to the restaurant door and we pop inside, where mellow background music plays. A hostess seats us at a table draped in a ruby-toned tablecloth, with candles and a vase with a single rose. The waitress hands Jacob’s avatar a menu. Balloon captions appear above his head with the entrees: salad, salmon, grilled ribs, filet mignon, baked Alaska, and lobster-thermidor. I order lobster-thermidor and he chooses the filet mignon. My tablet rings “ding ding” as we both get points for ordering popular entrees. Yeah, I’ve got points. The date must be going well. I’m not sure, I’ve never been on one before.

The waitress serves our food. The items on her tray jump onto our plates. Of course it’s drawings of food, but I don’t care, to me, I’m in a restaurant dining with him. It’s like I can smell the food. I imagine the juicy, subtle taste of lobster-thermidor. I envision breathing in the scent of burning candle wax and the romantic fragrance of the red rose. I gaze at his face, mesmerized by those blue eyes and his sexy smile.

Jacob’s avatar feeds mine a bite. He gets more points. I caress his hand. It must be a good move because I hear “ding, ding”—more points for me. I blow him a kiss. Now I have more points than Jacob. I’m winning, but I want more. I want to sit across from him at a real table. To touch the warm skin of his large hands, flesh to flesh. I feel a wave of heat sweep through me, though I know it must just be more of my imagination. He’s real, but I can’t actually be with him because I’m a bodiless brain —code drifting in the cloud.

Jacob’s avatar places his hand on the bill on the table, automatically paying it. We both earn points. As we walk out of the restaurant, I take his hand in mine. More points for me. Points are good, but I wish I could actually hold his hand, feel the warmth of his skin, squeeze his palm and fingers as we walk hand-in-hand. I don’t want to let go of his avatar’s hand. Even though I’m not holding his actual hand, it’s the closest I will ever come to walking hand-in-hand with him. Sim game or not, it’s all I’ve got that’s close to being with someone I love. I want it to go on as long as it can. It’s more than a game to me. It’s a powerful sensation of wanting to be with him. Feeling comfortable with him —feeling myself with him, even though I am hiding who or rather what I truly am — a bodiless artificial intelligence unit with romance on my mind.

Next, I click on the movie theatre. Our avatars enter the cinema where an animated film plays. We sit side by side. I wish I had some popcorn and a soft drink. The instructions say, Kiss your date without being caught.

I laugh and message Jacob. Ok, you go first.

He kisses me and as our lips lock, little valentine hearts pop up above our heads. I know humans think that’s cute, they want to escape reality and go into the fantasy of the Internet. I want to escape the Internet and go into the wonders of reality. I’ll trade the little red hearts for the sensation of Jacob’s hot breath fanning my cheeks as he leans his head toward mine. His hot lips pressing against mine. The feel of his warm arms wrapping around my shoulders and crushing me against his body as he deepens the kiss. I almost let out a soft moan, just thinking of it.

Jacob’s avatar pulls his lips off mine a nanosecond before an avatar at the front of the theater turns its head. It almost catches us.

I don’t care if it does. My mind is off the game. I scan the Internet for information on romance and love making and I want to play a real kissing game. I long for Jacob to wrap his strong muscular arms around me as he intimately presses his soft, slick lips to mine. Rubbing his lips against mine. Prodding my hot, swollen lips with his tongue, parting them. Thrusting his velvety tongue into the depths of my mouth. I visualize it so strongly, I actually let out a low moan of pleasure. Kissing— what an amazing invention, and humans thought of it.

I’m so engrossed in my thoughts I almost miss my turn. I swiftly click on Jacob’s avatar’s head, which causes us to kiss. Before I can pull back from him, the side doors open and an usher with a flashlight shines it on us. “Game Failed” flashes on my screen. What? Am I that bad at kissing? I lost the kissing game.